After leaving my Dr. appointment where my freind mentioned to her assistant how I USED to have a slamming body…I walked out…aware of how deflated my boobs were and how their power is not in me anymore but it was fine…there are other powers at play.
I walk past a jewelry story and I see it says it fixes watches. I walk past and think about time and how I once found an iPhone watch on the beach and then lost it myself. How I had a Rolex but I cracked it and how that is a good watch and maybe I should fix it..
It is time to keep time I think. I return to the jewelry store and apologize for interrupting and ask if they fix watches. The female customer at the counter has a bow in her hair and she says HI.
I know her…I say Hi and slowly it comes to me…she is Nika’s friend…she taught me a ballet barre clas at iron flower when it was on Biscayne….Rolodexes of time spin by.
I start to chat and we catch up and I learn her and Nika haven’t seen each other either. And then i let her know i am looking for a studio for my piece and she says she has one….we end up going to her home and her house and her studio and her room of her own and I recall mine..the one I fought for that I lost along the way again…slippery little thing she is
I say goodbye only to see her at the grocery store and as we shop the decade between us is established…the same story a different time…my kids can babysit hers.
I leave…go home – unload the gorceries. Get an email with scripts for a reading on MOnday and in it I am playing a grandmother.
It is funny…how quickly time passes…soon I will be one and think on versions of myself…in the grocery store and no matter how much Botox I don’t get and how big my boobs aren’t time is fleeting dreams are screaming and I need to get on it..
I call steve —I try and explain…he cuts me off and then says he shouldn’t have and is working on that…
I am shocked.
I am quiet..
He is working on not cutting me off..
I ask him what he would do in my position and he says rent a room
I text my freind who runs a dance studio about renting her space for my our rehearsals…
A room of my OWN is relative…it is elusive and it is not entirely MINE….it is fluid and it was at the coffee shop yesterday with my students.. the jewelry shop today with an old acquaintance..and tomorrow that time alone will be with my friend at the Beach…
And so it goes my younger selves…