Tag: Mom

Kitchen

INtegration of character


I found this word today by asking my husband what he felt the opposite of segregation was. 

I had been segregated by life these back years to dissect them. It had began with the death of my father the several years of therapy and the hitting of a brick wall with my ability to see Myself. It them moved into performances based on self awareness, kindness, the female journey and relationships. The final aspect was work. That was not so much a performance process but one that stemmed from being in quarantine these past few months.

I have found my work. My creative self and my family did not conflict but rather coincided. The space of my house became the backdrop to my work, my creative expression , my impression and all without having to leave the heart strings I so desperately love, my family.

I have always thought acting and family were oxymorons. I had been taught that young and although I peeled away the belief through action I had not uprooted the original programing – till now. To be home creating, not needed to venture out, not having to run from the disturbances of my home as they clash with my creative SUSIE- 

The idea of letting a SPACE i had always and desperately wanted to go, to send a text perhaps to say thank you and that it served its purpose…I am integrated.

I am integrated. I have kindly placed all my pieces back together and I have been able to flow and function at such high speeds. No breaks in emotion or energy having to exit and reenter my realisties. I am in one reality and have from here branched into others I have sold myself on. I am in one place and the creative juices flow around me. I am grounded and open minded and secure.

I was watching a show on Netflix as they discussed that a marijuana overdose reveals your holes and insecurities. I remember being concerned that no one could see me and that Steve would sometimes not be next to me even though he was driving the car. My fear was not being seen or heard and perhaps because I knew I wasn’t anywhere to long and thus I was nowhere..in my movement and in my work..I hadn’t tethered them in because it is not the pole it is myself – i have become the pole…centered, clear, understood more and more as I step forward with my work.

Integration. A woman’s work, apron strings and creative juices and the concostions I shall make.

And I I make breakfast, her the sizzle of the bacon the laughter of the boys the grains of sand beneath my feet from the outdoor project I am working on with teh family as a 46th Borthday project for me……I am typi

ng my thoughts in real time on this keyboard on my kitchen counter which will serves as my backdrop for my upcoming interview show I am hosting as my favorite Character Mrs. Keith Wade form Miami Motel Stories…it is called unplugged

Which is what we all needed to do inorder to reset and integrate…

Kitchen

Hello….Miami Motel Stories

THe other night a group of about 30 plus THEATER PEOPLE gathered at a delapitated soon to be remodeled MOTEL on Biscayne Blvd in Miami FLorida.

We were meeting and greeting about a new production that Juggernut is doing and I was in awe of it all.

IT is a huge production with original concepts and scripts and an array of actors that just blew my mind..

I was not excited nor bored I was peaceful I was HOME and in that I realized that sometimes you have to leave everything you know at the door and enter through the kitchen and smell the seasonings to ever really truly love love love your life.

I was one of the oldest people in the room but I was beyond thankful…One actor I had known since I first moved back to mIami in 1999/2000- He told me that if I was going to marry Steve I would end up leaving acting…
He was right…I did…I left I raised kids and I built a marriage and now I am here….sitting near this fortune teller knowing I CHOSE my path and although I have a few more lines on my face and a few more cracks in the heart I am more alive than I have ever been and my acting…well…I am bringing a hole new journey and I think it is going to be amazing..

S

Kitchen

Hello…kids

My two boys attend summer camp. Not the whole summer but enough. When I see them after the four weeks it is as though I just saw them. I just dropped them off walked around the corner and came right back and in that time they had a million memories I will never really know anything about.

It is the space inbetween that build their perception of life and you hope they adjust and focus on what makes a day beautiful. That somehow you have offered them the ability to slide in a glow filter on the moments – and without being there…by their side when they get nailed in the eye from a lacrosse stick or getting a base hit in their baseball tournament helping them solidify the memeroy..you just hope ..

Kitchen

Hello….Shark Tank

Yesterday was about 5 years since we originally aired on the show. Last night we aired again.WHY? I think it is a sign. I think everything is a sign. A soft nudge saying come on little girl try again. I had just yesterday morning posted the bib simplified ( sans embrodery and tag) on Etsy. I wanted to do it alone…in a way..see if I could restart the conversation at a more receiving time in history.
No need to explain why the product is made well and last forever. Maybe the new parents are primed to find a non label sustainable product helpful and spread it amongst themselves. THe last few times I have brought it out it was an education issue..as they mentioned on Shark Tank..That is NOT the issue anymore..and not since no one else sells our bibs but me and no one else has the patent but me and no one else cared to knock us off..may as well give it a go. Not to make millions, not to save myself or my family not to prove a point to well not to validate myself but perhaps to return to the game with a better attitude and perspective.
I so wish I could get my hand on the cut footage of my Shark Tank show. I woudl love to explain how much of it was REAL and how much of it was cut together to make it look as it was. I am not complaining…we made good TV the SHarks and Steve and I but it was and always will be TV.

DO you have things in your life that play these types of games with you. YO try to let them go but they keep knowckinng at your door no matter what you do.

Susie