So I am taking a show to Edinburgh…It was built out of love but it deals with Trauma…it is an honest and revealing version of myself as told through the eyes of people that know me. Most people wrote things but most people couldn’t and woundn’t but I used what those that did and put it into the mouths of others. or revealed their POV through my actions…
I come across as a pretty angry bitchy lover who is just speaking her truth by exposing herself.
it is not comfortable to others…people aren’t so happy about it…I didn’t really understand but they are starting to see ..this is past and hopefully they can understand that it is a way of celebrating the past in order to release it all and move on…
but one of the people I play who is kind of a catalyst for so many fucked up things that happened in my life…he isn’t the reason he was just there…and happened to be young and studpid and not equipt to handle me…but who is???…only ONE…
So any who..
In my attempt to make peace I have remade enemies but then again what is the point of a friendship if a sense of humor isn’t on the table….but even so…
here I go
Please forgive me
I am sorry
I love you
and Thank you
I hope from all you have learned and experienced that you can see the FUNNY in this…in being able to expose a past version of yourself and know it isn’t you anymore…is liberating..
These were your words and I simply accepted them…I am sorry if they hurt…I think art does that even when you are trying to be nice..because truth stings before it heals.
Even when I try and be nice I am still a little bitch..a BIG bitch…. it is fully impossible or perhaps not fully possible for me right now to create without destroying…
I am heading into my second week of rehearsals…I am trying to get off script and get my accents going and my dance moves and fitness up to par…ahhhh
I am working hard and I am not perfect and that my dears is the point…in every attempt to do anything.. you will piss people off.. you will scrape at scars… you will challenge people to question if they truly have forgiven you or themselves and in the end…in the end you will know ONLY one thing…that you were brave enough to ask the question to begin with.
“Fall far and hard and break yourself whenever you can…so you can rebuild yourself with all the shattered pieces..”